Money.

I seem to only write on here to vent, which is healthy I guess.

Ok, so I broke up with Dom abruptly last November because I wasn’t on the same page as him. I felt bad for hurting him and leaving him like that but it couldn’t go on any longer. He is and was a sweet guy, but you can’t just make yourself love someone when you don’t.

Anyways, this is the shit thing that is eating me up with guilt since  leaving him.

Lets just say Dom was very trusting and caring and I may have taken advantage of that without even realsing. Really, at the time I felt great that someone was spending money on me and letting me use their credit card! but it all too soon turned to utter shit when the card ticked over 1000 dollars.

The majority of it was plane tickets, because he lived in Christchurch. Others expenses were taking me out to dinner, lingere, etc.

So I did start paying him back weekly after we had split, but once xmas hit I was right out of cash, and then the courts started taking money out for fines, and all of a sudden I was strapped for cash. I may be making excuses, I dunno, but man I feel like shit, I don’t want to be a bad person, its just not me!

I promised him I would pay him back, I still am keeping that promise, but I honestly don’t have that sort of money, ok its not quite 1000 left that needs paying since I did pay some of it back, but its still a lot.  

Fuck, I just feel shit right now, puts you on a downer. If it were the other way around I would be guttered as. At least I learned my lesson not to let guys spend money on me like that